27.06.12
Comedy film by Funmi Adebanjo and Raliat Adenuga
‘FUSSY EATERS’
CAST: PIZZA BOY, FUSSY GIRL, HUNGRY GIRL
(The pizza boy is walking along a path with a pizza box in his hands. His phone rings, with Justin Bieber ‘Baby’ as his ring tone, and he fumbles to balance the pizza and answer the phone.)
PIZZA BOY: Hello? *sighs* I know I know I know I’m late, but I just have one more pizza to deliver… don’t worry I’ll be five minutes… yeah I’ll be as quick as I can, just gives me five minutes…
(The pizza boy gasps and stops walking)
PIZZA BOY: The final episode of Desperate Housewives is about to start?! Get a box of tissues ready for me! ... Thanks… love you too mum.
(The pizza boy puts his phone is his pocket then pulls out the receipt for his next delivery and looks at it)
PIZZA BOY: [under his breath] woah, long receipt…
(The pizza boy looks up at the house in front of him and begins to walk towards its front door. Then it cuts to two girls in the house. They are both sitting on the sofa and hungry girl is holding her stomach)
HUNGRY GIRL: ooh… I’m so hungry
(They hear the pizza boy knock continuously on their door)
PIZZA BOY: [shouts through door] pizza delivery!
HUNGRY GIRL: *gasps* the pizza’s here!
(The girls answer the door)
PIZZA BOY: [hurriedly] hi, here’s your pizza, nice and warm…
(The pizza boy shoves the pizza forward)
PIZZA BOY: now if you could just give the money and I’ll-
FUSSY GIRL: woah… slow down!
(The fussy girl pushes the pizza box back towards the pizza boy)
FUSSY GIRL: First I wanna check if you got our order right!
(The hungry girl shoots the fussy girl and angry look, then turns to face the pizza boy, who has raised his eyebrows in reaction to the fussy girl)
{The camera zooms in to the pizza boys eyes and then the screen cuts away to his imagination. He is in a dark interrogation room sat by a table with a lamp above him, shining in his eyes. The fussy girl stands over him and slams her fist on the table shouting ‘Answer me! Answer me!’ Then the camera zooms back out of his eyes back to reality}
HUNGRY GIRL: [awkward laugh] don’t mind her, erm, let me get the money
(The pizza boy gives a sigh of relief and the hungry girl rushes into the house to fetch the money)
PIZZA BOY: Look. I can assure you that your pizza was made correctly-
(The pizza boy sighs and pulls out the long receipt)
FUSSY GIRL: (Makes a movement with her hand that indicates for the pizza boy to shut up) First question. Is the ham separated from the sweetcorn?
PIZZA BOY: (looks up and down receipt) Erm… yes.
FUSSY GIRL: was fresh, sliced mozzarella cheese used?
PIZZA BOY: um, yes.
FUSSY GIRL: did you mix barbecue sauce and sun dried tomato sauce on the base?
PIZZA BOY: yes.
FUSSY GIRL: is the lettuce shredded not chopped?
PIZZA BOY: yes.
FUSSY GIRL: was the pepperoni cut into stars?
(The hungry girl rushes back with a handful of money)
HUNGRY GIRL: here is the exact amount.
(The pizza boy lets out a sigh of relief and shoves the receipt in his pocket before reaching out to take the money from the hungry girl. However the fussy girl jumps between them and interrupts)
FUSSY GIRL: Hello?! I’m not finished!
(The hungry girl and the pizza boy both roll their eyes and drop their hands back down. The pizza boy reaches back into his pocket and pulls out the receipt again)
FUSSY GIRL: now, I’ll ask again… was the pepperoni cut into stars?
PIZZA BOY: (sighs) yes.
THE SCREEN FADES OUT TO BLACK, THEN FADES BACK IN TO INDICATE A SKIP IN TIME
FUSSY GIRL: Were the onions pre-fried in sugar before being added to the pizza?
(The hungry girl is sitting on the floor leaning against the wall, and the pizza boy is leaning against the door frame with his head back, both of them clearly tired)
PIZZA BOY: (through his teeth) yes.
FUSSY GIRL: was the meat taken from the thigh of a baby lamb?
(The pizza boy whipped his head round to face the fussy girl and shoot her a concerned/shocked look)
PIZZA BOY: what?! (the fussy eater gave him an impatient look, and he quickly looked down at the receipt) erm… yes…
FUSSY GIRL: Good. Was the dough slapped around your face three times?
PIZZA BOY: what?! No!
FUSSY GIRL: hahaha I was only joking! Well then, it seems as if you’ve got our order right.
(The hungry girl jumps up off the floor with an eager smile on her face)
HUNGRY GIRL: so does that mean I can eat the pizza?!
(the hungry girl looks at the money in her hand, then starts to pass it to the pizza boy. As she passes it it changes to slow motion and plays the slow motion running song/the hallelujah song before
HG: he certainly gave you a pizza his mind
FG: Oi! Don’t get saucy with me!